Heart Shaped Eyes

I love love

2011-02-11T20:36:00.000-08:00

I love love, hence I love celebrating love! Even before I had a true valentine, I would always celebrate the totally hallmark day because well it is an excuse to wear hearts, buy heart shaped thing, eat chocolate and most important take a day and reflect on all the different kinds of love. So please don't be too cynical... reflect and see everyone has love in their life. I think valentines day should be everyday, in my world it is even if I only can wear my hearts in my hidden socks. Anyway, in my weekly refection on my loves, I have decided to have a few of them over for a Love Fest! So I am decorating my house for the occasion...Here are a few of the first changes to my apartment...

this is Rosie she lives with us she's a rosemary plant. Rosie is used for cooking but she's wanted to get dressed for the party.

The featured presentation at the party-- we'll be watching A valentine for Charlie Brown. Oh charlie your such a love.

My dear Sara Hester helped me string together numerous hearts I made from recycled paper from my classroom, don't worry the hole puncher is in the shape of a heart.

The old christmas wreaths Lydia and I have not taken down are now LOVE wreaths! RECYLE times TWO!

More on all the love fest to come!
-b

4000 pictures later.

2011-02-03T16:54:00.000-08:00

above are pictures of my trip to Africa, I took FOUR years ago now. How time flies. You know I wish I had a scar or something to prove what kinda effect my trip to Mozambique had on me. It was the most life changing summer I have experienced yet. With time I sometimes forget, the blessing it was to see so much. So looking through my 4000 pictures tonight has brought roaring laughs and tears to my eyes of longing. Take a minute and ponder where you've been. Pick a place, any place Childhood-- a distant land-- last year what have you and see if the same lessons you learned ... you need to learn again. I know looking through my pictures, my heart sank and again I was stuck by the need to get lower still... lower to Jesus and to have more faith like a child that our God is a God that does the impossible. I need to be pour in spirit and just wow the world has so much need and I felt the word justice beats in my veins....

On a happier note the reason this little trip down memory lane took place is tomorrow, evening I will be reunited with three of my closest friends from my trip.... A mama, a wife, and a brother. I cannot wait. I can't wait to sit in my Mama Deane's house and drink warm drinks and laugh about that crazy summer, when we all went across the world to meet one-another. I cannot wait to hear all that God is doing in each of their lives today. Or I just can't wait to make new memories together. Mama Deane is a crazy on fire woman of the Lord. Who loves to call me Brandi-louise and will probably pray loud to her window to the west because the psalms talk about direction of your prayers. Travis will pretend he's shy for a minute, my wife and I will convince him to stop being a stick in the mud and then he'll have us roaring with laughter at some sarcastic joke. He's a theologian that boy, since our trip to Africa he went to seminary and got himself a masters. He'll have dense topics to discuss and get Mama all fired up. As for my wife your probably wondering what I speak of.... well her name is Heidi... We were married when I were lived in the same compound in Pemba, Mozambique. WE bought groceries together, took each other with our cranky pants on and cried so hard when we departed... We're a lot alike, full of feisty-ness ,laughter and love, when we meet it's like a bomb explodes with Coziness. Heidi is one my dearest friends and I swear we're connected at the heart cause God always seems to be doing similar things in our lives even if hundreds of miles, separate us. I will keep you updated on all the happenings this weekend, it's sure to be exciting.

Below is all of us... two years ago at another reunion... Kat won't be there she's getting married soon...

He'll sees God move the way, we all see God move in him

2011-01-30T20:11:00.002-08:00

I guess-- I am on a people kick when it comes to blogging, this year. I mean I do have the most amazing people in my life so it makes for an easy topic to blog about. So it's getting late and tomorrow morning when I get off my weekend of living like a college student ... my professional eyes will be heavy but my friends are more important than my job.
My closest friends are like my family and some of them even become honorary members in my family. For instance my best friend Joel. Joelina as I like to call him is one of the funniest people I know in the world. Last year I was the intern at a domestic violence victim agency and I could come from a very dark day and he'd turn my teary eyes from a broken heart into squint Asian eyes of laughter in mere minutes. Joel and I met because he's my boyfriend Danny's best friend. Joel came into my life when I needed him most and well like I said he's like a part of my family. My parents are always wondering when Joel is going to come for a visit, so he can entertain us all with his hilarious dance moves or his ridiculous love for our hot tube or his compassion on my very aged dog named Faith. Joel and I are really close, if I could I'd have be one of my bridesmaids in my wedding hahahah...

Joel loves Jesus a lot and I think that's why we're so close... and tomorrow morning he'll take a airplane all the way to Brazil. He's going on a missions trip and I am sure he'll take beautiful pictures and maybe make some pretty sweet videos too. All that to say Joelina is faithful and this year I've seen him grow so much in the Lord. He's so passionate about the youth group that I've been helping him with at our church, well really he's just passionate about our church in general and really makes me want to do more! Joel understands what it means to serve in a local church, hence God is now asking him to go serve other places (like I said he's growing).

So in my inspiration of watching God move Joel... I made him a little something-something to take him on his trip. It's a book for the ten days he's gone. I got ten of his favorite people to send him off with some words of encouragement and what have you. I hope it reminds him that we're all back at home praying he'll see God move the way, we all see God move in him.

Joelina-- we love you!

Joel o

2011-01-30T20:11:00.001-08:00

peaceloveandsisterhood.

2011-01-10T10:59:00.000-08:00

I do not think i've ever blogged about them which is really quite stupid, if I do say so myself but let me tell you about my ethnic sisters. See the funny part is one of our sisters is not as ethic as the other two but her heart is like a globe, cause she dreams of having babies that look like me (adoption of course) and hair like our other sisters (keeping her kid like heart beating). Jessica Allyn and Maria Robinson are my ethnic sisters. I have a lot of friends but these two are like my family. We get really mad at each other and sometimes hurt each others feelings. And recently life has been taken us all in our own directions, but there was this one time where the three of us literally lived at Jess's grandma's house. We would have dark days and eat whole pumpkin loafs or chocolate cakes-- bad self care-- I know. Nonetheless they were the best of times. Now I live in a far distant land... while they still have loafs together and on the bad days have each other. I get phoned in nonetheless.
The two of them really inspire me. Jess is pursing finishing her degree in arts for children and she has a passion for crafting. She is really good at it and is a dreamer. Jess and I are a lot alike she loves love, Jesus and kids. She also has a great taste in music. She loves the arts, she can dance it out and Jess inspires me to love simply and to never underestimate what we have cause she understands what it is like, not to have. As for Maria... ZANG-it-ee zang.. Maria is a rock. She and I have been friends forever and I love it when I can name someone from middle school and she'll know who I am talking about. Maria is a missionary kid and boy does she have a heart for ministry. She inspires me to do what it is God is calling me to do--that is totally what she doing as she's a youth leader at a large church and leads worship. She's planted and is changing lives and mine as I watch from her side-line. Maria also can be soft too -- I love it when she lets me snuggle up next to her to watch a movie or just watching her be so silly as she sings and dances all over the place. She has this way of bringing home where ever she goes... So I wanna tell you a few stories, one from the past and one from the present and one I hope for in the future.
So this one time Jess and Maria, came to my hospital room every single day for 10 days strait. It was a small little room with no windows and it was summer... A lot of my friends & family came, but these two came one very dark night.. I did not think I was going to make it any longer and I had been asked to stay up all night long in order for more testing...They were up for the challenge, they dressed up in hospital gowns and had a dance party in my room, they flicked the lights on and off and made me laugh till I cried. They were also there when I had my first attach which put me in the hospital, they have seen me at my weakest.

One from the present so... this summer I started dating my boyfriend danny. The way this relationship began really was perfect, cause I kinda knew he was asking me out before he did. So I got all ready for this date with my two sistas right there via cyber space. We all mac chatted here is proof. it was awesome. we danced and prayed and were just so girlie. Of course the moment I got home I again, mac chatted and told them everything...

One for the future... I have this dream where the three of us each have a few kids of our own and we're all playing at a park, but we specifically each have a little girl and they are all around the same age. I can see each of them having different hair and different skin but giggling about something they have just found and beginning a new sisterhood. :)

Love you J and Ri...! Cheers to another year of US!

Linus is an evangelist!

2010-12-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to blog about this and it took my dear friend Roderick C. the 3rd, to post on his facebook to make me do it! So like my title goes.. "Linus is an evangelist". Now your probably wondering, who Linus is and what I am talking about but just like a big white bearded old guy who probably still has cookie crumbs in his beard gets all the glory for all that the hard work mothers... and fathers do buying gifts--- Charlie Brown takes the lime light in the Charlie Brown Christmas cartoons, when really it should be Linus! He's the faithful, loving and humble friend of Charlie Brown, that listens to all that the Charlie Browniest, Charlie Brown has to say. And in the Charlie Brown Christmas Cartoon, Charlie Brown is searching for the meaning of Christmas and who shares it in the climax of the movie... LINUS! and what does it say...

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid.
And the angel said unto them,
Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.
For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.
And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.
And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke 2:8-13

It's really amazing the whole thing. I mean kudos to Charlie Brown for wanting to get rid of all the commercialism and such. But let's bring the WORD here Linus, your my kinda boy! I watched this movie four times this year and might watch it again tomorrow. I also had the awesome opportunity to read a picture book version of Charlie Brown Chritimas to my students at school and share with them the real meaning of Christmas.They loved hearing about the baby and talked about when they were babies. They did not quite understand the idea of the stable but I think they understand he came to SAVE. We even sang Hark the Harold Angels sing at the closing of the story. So Merry Christmas and thank you Lord for being the baby wrapped in swaddling cloths that came to save us, including my little students!

this is one of my students, ironically his name is charlie!

His collision of Beauty.

2010-11-11T19:20:00.000-08:00

Did you know that beauty is defined by the Webster dictionary as "the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit ". It's true. I toss this word around a lot for it's a passion of mine, I feel it's important to give others the room to create beauty, I desire for all people to find themselves beautiful (especially woman) and well I see God through beauty. Wanna know something.. I've found someone else who shares this passion with me. His name is Danny, I think you know about him if your reading this. Anyway the point is today, I saw beauty in a new way. You see what brings this boy a lot of pleasure in his life is photography and capturing the beauty of things, which then in turns shares beauty with others... and what brings me a lot of pleasure is creating. It doesn't matter what it is I love to create... may it be with my craft paper, with my feet as I create dances, knitting or today baking, i find great pleasure in all these things. So according to Webster, "pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit", photography-baking-crafting... these things are beauty. And today our expressions collided, as my boy captured my creating! It was BEAUTIFUL... Please take a look and I do not know if you can tell by my face but I saw God greatly in his collision of Beauty.

Beauty to the mouth!!! I think he liked them!

Check out his blog, if your in need of some more beauty.
http://ebersolephotography.wordpress.com

unpacking my suitcase

2010-10-27T10:38:00.000-07:00

If you didn’t know I love to travel… I love to travel to see people, I love to travel for missions and hope to soon travel purely for relaxation. Anyway the point is I love it. I’ve traveled by train, boat, car, motorcycle, and hot air balloon; well this list is silly because really how I love to travel is by airplane. I love the take off and land. I believe in some metaphoric way I was born on an airplane because I was adopted and have a whole airplane birth-day, day… So I love planes and I love to travel and I love suitcases. However I have this particular problem with them. I hate unpacking them. I find them rather wonderful as they sit in my bedroom and I see them when I wake up and still have to take clothes out of them. When I went on a missions trip to Mozambique, Africa a few years back I did not unpack my suitcase for months and it was only by some of my dearest friends’ demands was I persuaded to dust and empty it. We were fighting a lot more battles those days, I didn’t trust God and sometimes those little roots come back. For example, I went on one of the most amazing trips ever this weekend. I went to Chicago to see two of my favorite people in the world Julia and Joel Handy and brought my most favorite and only boyfriend , Danny. It was an amazing weekend filled with a lot of things facing up… Airplanes, the Sears Towner aka 102 stories above the land, a ferris wheel, a double Decker train where we rode on the top, the John Hancock building 93 stories and then another airplane. So many laughs with my amazing little cousins and just FAMILY! Anyway, I was spoiled for sure and as I traveled back to Boston my heart hurt a lot… the point is I am looking at the suitcase—still unpacked and for the first time understand. It is more than a mental thing ,though I do not want to say it’s over but it’s really a spiritual thing. I have this need to keep going, to keep squirming. When in reality Christ wants me to be still and know he is God. Psalm 46:10. So much of my hurting heart was in regards to the unknown, when God is the one that knows. I do not need to run away, like I may have contemplated. I need to trust and unpack my heart really cause he is God and I am not.

-b

P.S: suitcase is unpacked! Thanks for all the moral support in my issue Maria Robinson, Jessica Allyn and Danny Ebersole!!!!

On your marks, get set... GO!

2010-09-22T04:30:00.000-07:00

This is where I ran today but... it was SUNrise! '

So I have alluded to the fact that I am training for a Half MARATHON! It's been a tough process but a rewarding one. Training in one of the hottest summer's (I've experienced) and their have been a lot of life changes are going on. Nonetheless, it's been the thing that has kept me structured this season. Running is like this game I play but I am the only competitor.
The rules are
-Make it to the end of a 6-9 mile run.
-There will always be a reward of something yummy to eat during the day .
- You have to run some where interesting.
- You have to pray before you start (no injury please!)
- You have to have some good music to jam out too.
-Oh and please if you're feeling especially confident on your run, stop and dance it out.
Well this morning I ran in one of the most beautiful places I have ever run before. I currently love running through Salem, Massachusetts. To those of you none Mass. readers, Salem is safe I swear. So I ran to this place called Winter Islands and got the blessing to see the sun rise on the Wakiki Beach (salem)! It was amazing! I had to stop and just put my hands in the air, dance and breath in the INDIAN summer air! That is right today it will be 83 on a September day! I then proceeded to keep my pace and run back to Beverly but before I run over the beautiful bridge outlooking the ocean ..a church friend... on root in her car, taking her children to school. It was the moment that made the run complete, I live here now on the shore, me myself and I... I run and compete with myself, but I need people. I need community. I want to be known. And in that early morning hello, I was reminded we are never alone. For God is always with us, but let us be challenged to be Christ to others and remind people they are known and run along side them on this journey.. even if you have to beep at them in your car as they race by you.

P.S- I am running the big race on October 16th... if you care to join please don't be shy!

Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.Proverbs 4:26

2010-09-13T19:30:00.000-07:00

If you don't know yet, I got a JOB! This is true and I am loving it. I am a montessori teacher to fifteen, 3-5 year olds! It's so great! It might sound strange to you, that I'd have a classroom filled with such an age range but, it's all about the method behind the madness. This free style of learning actually has thus far proven to me, that children's brilliance is more than what meets the STANDARD! Montessori is all about learning from your environment. It's really different then the schooling I had, for instance the children do not play... they work... and all the toys are meant for learning, not playing make-believe. So anyway my days still consist of lovely things.. like socialogically over analyzing every move the students make, making crafts, building with math blocks,reading children's books, teaching them about countries as we do world puzzles and watching them discover so many things. I am discovering a lot too. Like my love for their little voices and how I am a weak one when my favorite little boy gets into mischief of many kind and looks at me with a grin that could change anyone's tone of voice, hence I did not follow through with my little scolding. I am excited to see all the places this job will take me... I dream of the countries I might travel to with my certification or maybe going back to get a masters degree... who knows. Let's be excited about what is here today, which were these little feet, that are below. God really spoke to me through them. I kept thinking about the verse Proverbs 4:26 --"Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established". It's funny to think of all the places these little feet will go and it just reminds me to have child-like faith about all the places my feet may go or even having faith about where my feet are right now. I ponder this path that is trying to be in God's will as much as it humanly can and hence in faith I hope it is established.

I mean these gator-toes are to die for.

Mary jane rain boots. How I wish they were my size.

The classic light up sneakers

I own tights like these

Could these be any more GREAT?

Now all these shoes were sweetly sported today... YES all the love in one day, he does care about the little things.

Excitement & change of heart.

2010-08-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

Excitement. Excitement. Excitement. I have a lot of it, these days! So many things are going on and everything is moving so fast. Sometimes I feel like I can't catch my breathe before I have to run to the next thing, good thing I am training for a Half-Marathon ;) or that God is my anchor and he's the only one that really should get any of the glory for all these things!
So I am still working on Sara & Josh's guest book... I have eight days but am giving myself a 6 day deadline because my PARENTS are coming in town and I am moving!!!!! I am still enjoying all the hours of the crafting, however feel a bit stressed, thank you Jesus, my dear friend Elise is back! She sat with me for a grand total of FOUR hours last night, doing her own crafting but listening to my contemplation of what colors, patterns and listening to my annoying raspy voice because I am a wee bit ill.
However before the craft central began, Elise and I went for a walk to Dane Street beach. It twas a lovely night, the ocean air smelled sweet and I was so happy to just have her back from California! We were talking about Jesus as we usual do and just reflecting on where all the people, we love are in this stage in life. Our hearts hurt at the discussions of those we know that are unhappy and again in reflective mode... talked about how we too get down about things when we do not see the big picture or go to our main source the big guy upstairs. When we were talking I could only think of this graphic I found a few months ago!

There are so many ways, I need to change my heart the list could go on and on. However I am glad I have friends like Elise who too is in the process of allowing Jesus to change her heart, so we venture down this path TOGETHER!

A few other lovely things that happened yesterday...

Josh and I, helped out at the church fair at Gordon. It felt so strange to be hanging out on campus, but exciting to run into old friends and see all the new faces!

Got to play mom for a few hours, literally... with the little baby only 6 weeks from Korea. I am excited to someday be a mom but like to leave them after a few hours and get paid! hahah

but really how could you not have a change of heart after this face.

Be blessed.
b

P.S- SARA"S bACH party is tomorrow! eeekk so stooked!

Craft O'clock

2010-08-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

I have been doing some serious crafting this summer. here are a few of my projects.

This craft was editable different than most, canning some brushetta and made some homemade pickles... I wanna do more and more of it, you know storing up for the winter. Click on the picture to make it bigger!

This is what my table looks like currently, I look forward to my new apartment and having a whole craft corner in my new room!

The table looks like this because I made this for my dear friend Elise. She was my roomate last year and will not be this year, I thought it important to make sure I was still present in her room anyway! Elise is a woman after God's own heart, so Luke 1:45 is perfect for this beauty... (click on the picture to make it bigger)

My biggest endeavor of the summer... Sara & Josh's guest book for their wedding! I am a bit nervous, but excited nonetheless.

Can't wait to show you the guest book. Until then, please take time for things you love... I mean I did... craft o'clock!
Be blessed.
b-lin

an ode to summer

2010-08-18T22:58:00.000-07:00

So I have not written in over a month... this needs to change! So much has happened ! Here are some of the highlights, wish I could tell you all the details of that go along with these picture but let me just say a lotta love is going on around me.

Went to a few weddings with this handsome man. He's really wonderful and we're enjoying the ride of learning how to live a life of putting God first.

I am also getting to share in my summer growth as usual with these ladies... Stefanie and Sara. Even though this summer looks a little different than the last, we're still each others sisters and they continue to inspire me to live more for Jesus and well we just have fun together too!

Photo Credit: Danny Ebersole

I helped throw my first ever wedding shower with the amazing church community but it twas fun! It was fun decorating and going to pick flowers with the little flower girls...I cannot wait for these two to get married!

I also did some nannying... I feel so sad that this little munchkins and I are not going to get to spend the summer days together anymore... I am really hoping one of these jobs I am interviewing for works out, but they were a blessing. Some of my favorite lines form them... "Brandi-lin, your not listening to my words", "that hurts my heart", the roars of laughter that would come when I brought out my apple computer because it has an apple on it. The snuggles and touching my hair with their little hands. Oh let's not kid ;) ourselves the fact that they were mistaken as my children on numerous accounts. Even though I am no where near ready to be a mother of a six year old or a three year old... I found it very endearing.

Spending way to many hours with this lady... she has a many wise words. Keri and I also gardened together... pretty much endured all the stresses of post grad life with a lotta laughs!

Had a painting party for these kids new house! I went over tonight... the love nest is almost ready and their little life together looks very bright future. You should see the green bathroom :)

Found my own new place! I will be sharing it with my dear friend Lydia! We have our own door buzzer, so when you come to visit we'll have to intercom you in!!!

This is Lydia, she's lovely and I look forward to autumn and drinking warm drinks together.

Please come in...

So Jazzed!

Oh did I tell you I am training for a half marathon? Yes with my friends Kristin and Priscilla, I have told myself before I turn 23 this must happen, in Jesus name. I also have been canning fresh veggies... that'd be my next blog... I've been also applying to a many-a-job... crafting, and taking pictures as usual, went to a music festival and oh did I tell you I am falling for this boy? He's such a blessing and also challenges me to love Jesus more and more and mores...

more of my own words later. But the bible has more profound words than I will ever have...
"Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart" 1 Peter 1: 22.

Falling in love Rocks!

2010-07-16T06:39:00.000-07:00

I do not know if you know but there has been a lot of JOY in my life these days. God has been blessing me with so many surprises and adventures. I mean I was just in Haiti last month, I am living with 5 girls who are all enduring the post grad life with me, I am apart of one of the most amazing community of believers and have just began the journey of a new relationship. Joy joy joy oh and love!!! One of my biggest joys are people. I just love them. I love when people can be there for one another when they struggle like I got the privilege to do so for a dear friend the other night. As I listen to him be raw and honest about his struggles, I fell in love with being apart of this community all over again. For it was in his words, I was reminded of the faithfulness and devotion each one of these special people have. Another joy in my little life is my current roommate. She bring so much joy to my heart through her humor, she is one that makes my belly bellow! Her name is Keri, she has beautiful blonde hair and one of the biggest hearts, on the planet. She loves Jesus a lot and we can talk about many a fings (said in her Mexican accent). So today we were gardening, sweat’in and laughing as I pushed the wheel barrel super fast over bumps just so I could get some of the dirt to fly in the air. Or we just talk in stupid voices all day and her's are actually good, while mine all ended up sounding like the lady from the chinese take-out. While we garden, we’re always listening to music in our headphones and danc’in and when we take the plugs out and just chat, it is always fruitful. So yesterday, I asked Keri very honestly “when do you think you know your in-love with a person?”. Her response was so wise as all the things, she says “Bran—I think you’ll know as time goes by really. You might at some point think you are-- but then you’ll look back and see all the things you’ve been through and how much the person has grown and you’ll love them all the more. Like you learn to love them”. We then talked about the things that relationships go through… fights, trials, adventures, laughter, family, travels and ended with talking about it’s all about time. Afterward I could only think of my parents who have been married 29 years now and been together for 39. How much has their love grown and how much more are they in love with each other today, then when they were at my age. I love old people, no not because they are “cute” (I hate that saying, babies are cute) but because they are wise, timed and tried. My prayer is as I fall in love it’s with time, and that I keep my eyes open to see ultimately I am falling in love with Christ, just through different avenues. I am really blessed to have a boyfriend who is beginning to show me more of how to fall in love with Christ, as I begin to learn how to love him... He's wonderful and such a blessing... Falling in love ROCKS, and I am excited to see what time will make it all look like ;)
-blin

Above is Danny (boyfriend) & I. In the fall of last year... a lot has grown since this picture but we were best friends then and I hope we are for a very long while!

lovewins, Brandi write grow...

2010-07-02T15:17:00.001-07:00

above are my summer kids. Kori and Carter.

My life is really happy right now and all I can say is it's because of my Jesus! He's got the perfect time and just the perfect things for me this summer. One of them is my babysitting job, I am watching these little babes that are both adopted. One from China and the other from Vietnam. It's awesome working with adoptee kids because I identify so much with them. No not because I look like them but because we share an experience not everyone does. It's one of my favorite moments when my little girl Kori meets a new person and says... I am chinese! I remember being her age and doing the same thing but saying "I am korean". Kori and I are a lot alike. Today we were coloring and she asked me to write something, of course I wrote "Love Wins". She asked me what it said and I told her, she then said now write Grow... I did so. She explained to me (as a first child always needs to be the one to explain), that Love wins and grows. I instantly had to text my best friend, Jess. Why you ask because love does a lot of things but one of Jess's favorite things it does is grow and it's growing in a lot of places in my life right now! thanks for teaching me Love grows oh so long ago Jess, Kori thank you for your wise 6 year old words and most of all thank you Jesus for making it grow oh so much in my life.

this is Jess... I call her bird, I love her to the moon and back.

just a few things I enjoy.

2010-06-26T23:02:00.001-07:00

love still wins

2010-04-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

It was one of those days... I awoke with knowing the day would be full of more than I could handle, good thing God had me. So I have been working at this non-profit agency that advocates for those being effected by domestic violence. I have gotten the chance to see first hand, what this horrible act of violence does to a person, to a family, and to a city. There are a lot of days, I drive home, trying to speak louder than my radio asking, WHY? HOW? WHAT? or I ride in silence, trying to leave the day behind me, trying to tell myself I am not emotional. The nights normally proceed with laughter filling my apartment or coffee dates with other friends, oh yeah homework, (senior year ha!).
Today was different. I did leave and fight with my radio for the noise in the car, I did stop by my favorite local coffee shop to be greet by kind hearts and iced coffee with liquid sugar of course. I did, find my heart excited by the blooming flowers, I had the chance to drive by. But I still was sad. This one woman I have been advocating for has five kids under the age of five with her batterer, was beaten while pregnant with the fifth and then saw her best friend get stabbed to death by him. She had to testify in court against him and will again. She had to look at the father of her children, the man whom killed her best friend and her own batterer in court after not seeing him months.
So I spent the day with the kids, yes crazy I know. In the little non-profit office full of cubicles was me and a handful of children. They made laugh and want to cry as they wet their pants, were excessively aggressive with one another because of the violence they have experienced and well... there children, so the crying might have been a little bit because of the innocence they had during rest time and all I could think is what will they be like in the coming years... You know by the end of the 8 hours with them, I was done, the office smelled like poop and pee, I looked like I was hit by a truck and yet the moment that woman walked through the door, her children ran to her laughing and pointing with excitement that she was there. She was not a witness on a stand that had faced more trauma than I hope to ever experience, she was a mama. The strength I saw in that woman in that moment was remarkable. Not to mention the strength, she needed to plan for the following trial arrangements to follow, ridiculous. Then after it was settled and she knew her kids were safe, she took a breath and said "wow I was so nervous". So I took the smelly garbage out of the office, so the cubicles could sleep in peace. and like I said had some coffee and some friends.
Got home, pooped (no parallel to the earlier events) and in my silence, proceeded to be my silly self and watch Born in to the Brothels, this documentary about teaching children of prostitutes photography (it's my homework, seriously) . As I watched this film, the tears streamed down my face. I still care about woman, I still believe in justice and I still love. So love still wins in my own heart, because all semester I have felt like I've lost my love for justice. I have quieted my voice because I have been afraid by the stories but I will speak even when it trembles because woman like my client need a voice. And if you know me, God has given me a loud voice... so I must use it.

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me. Because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor he has sent me to bid up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.
Isaiah 61:1

No regret in the kingdom.

2010-02-19T21:23:00.000-08:00

The other day I was getting really sad. Yes it's true I get sad. Who woulda thought. I felt regret concerning relationships I have had and lost, regret about who I have been becoming... just regret. It was a wednesday and to be honest they are the hardest days of the week. You'd think it'd be monday, the start of the long 30 hour work week but no, it's wednesdays. Its that day in the middle, where the end isn't insight and the beginning freshness has faded into the nasty folgers coffee.It was a rough day, I wanted to go home after work but something kep me out for the two hours between wednesday church and work. I showed up to church, sheding my baggage at the door expecting Jesus. I was greeted by my tu-tu heads whose pictures are at the beginnning of this blog. So what happened is this. I walked in the door and they greeted me with there usual kisses and little hands, that wanted to hold mine as we dance to the worship music. I watched them so free to dance for Jesus and got the honor, to dance with them. The music would get slow and then they also want me to hold them and the four year old who has recently been hearing the voice of God, put her head on my shoulder and wispered in my ear "miss. b-- your beautiful"... :) The music continued they wanted to sit in there seats. So I felt inspired to dance like them, little children just wanting to show something beautiful to their father. I hadn't "balletish" danced in the spririt in a long time. It was real worship... I am certain that these instances are what prepared me for a later conversation, we were talking about a many things, sharing hearts, sharing testimony, just life. When I was listening to my friend talk and responded with something that was for me to hear not her. And the words didn't come from my head but the same spirit that I wanted to dance for. I was explaining to my friend, something about making moves and doing things, when I said it and it stuck a million cords in my heart. "There is no regret in the kingdom, because nothing we do is not his doing and all things are redeemed to bring his glory. We may be hurt by the instances in our lives but they are all for the building of the kingdom." Do I believe this? Yes. How can I stand regreting the lost relationships, parts of myself, or things I have done, they are all in the work of the kingdom. I just have to wait in my hurts and keep looking up to who is in control. I also get to look into those little tu-tu head eyes and know that the world is still very beautiful....

taking a picture of what we should wear.

2010-02-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-15

hope.

2010-01-26T22:10:00.000-08:00

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.
-emily dickinson

Please have a drink with me.

2009-12-26T13:52:00.000-08:00

If I know what love is, it's because of family.

2009-12-24T21:59:00.000-08:00

Home for the holidays. It's like I come back to this playground and the swings are rusty yet I still swing and the colors are mute but still so beautiful. This year it's really different, my Papa is in the hospital. Christmas eve was not the same for any "Scally" member (scally being my mom's side). The twenty people still showed but the head of the party was not there. The grumpy late seventies man who only shaves when he's going to see any of us, was instead in a hospital bed where his christmas gift this year was a feeding tube. I found myself chasing around my little cousins, kissing the youngest and taking her for a dance to the music that I normally dance to with my Papa. I am selfish, I know but want more dances. I do however see the redemption in this whole mess of things. He's loving us so much right now, and he loves when we all surround his hospital bed. He always wants to hold my hand when I walk in his room but pulls back because my hands are always cold. He's my favorite old man in the world really. I am twenty-two and do not understand love, for like I said he's grumpy and mean most the time. But there is nothing to say other than we love our Papa. We all do, it's amazing seeing all the cousins come in town to love him, or the worry his children have in there eyes, when he coughs, and coughs or how my grandma is in the room around the clock. When we're all in the little hospital room telling stories and the noise is up, I see him in all of us-- it's in our humor, it's in our strong wills (that are very stubborn), its in our love for each other. So the heart shaped eyes see the love a seventy-eight year old man has, it's stronger than death....

Being called Miss.b

2009-12-12T23:03:00.001-08:00

These little girls go to my church and I adore them... we go on picnics, dance, chalk, pray and play!!! They call me Miss b and I love it...
Why because
1. I feel extremely loved when people call me by a nickname,it's not that I do not love the name "brandi" but it's just so much more personal.
2. I am an adult in these little munkins lives, hence the Miss!
3. They are two of the coolest people in my life, they love Jesus more than me I think :)

Side note tonight I got to give them christmas gifts, if only I could get as excited about princess lip gloss like the old days it was good to re-live it through them!

Joy to the world

2009-12-03T12:47:00.000-08:00

Christmas has always been a time of Joy for me. I remember when I was around five years old, looking out the window seeing my Grandpap pull up in the drive -way in his red pick up truck. As he helped up into my seat I remember the white flurries begin to fall. We drove along as Christmas hymns played. I remember his rough hand touched my shoulder and he told me we were going to go see Jesus. I did not understand, instead looked out the window watching the white flakes fall from the sky. We then pulled up to a big white church and had to wait in a very long line. The hymns played in the truck and I could only sing along to “Joy to the World” as I sang we got closer, Grandpap again told me we were going to see Jesus he then, turned the music off. He opened his window and I heard a narrator’s voice. We drove past lots of scenes with people acting out a story of a mommy and a daddy who had to listen to angels, travel a long way with no where to stay and finally end in a barn with all my favorite animals. In this barn was a manger where the mommy laid her baby. The voice told me that the baby was to save the world. I remember driving away from the live story and Grandpap grabbed my hand and asked me “Brandi, do you understand that story?” I remember telling him I did but Grandpap held my hand tighter and proceeded to tell me the story that happened to the little baby after he left all my favorite animals. The baby grew up to be a man that would hang on a cross for all the sad things of this world. Grandpap ended the story in his driveway where all the white Christmas lights and white snow covered his house while Grandma waited in the window by the colorful Christmas tree. He turned on Joy to the world but this time we sang together. Now years later the story of the baby that was born with my favorite animals near by has gained an even deeper meaning. It’s a story that has with held, through loss, illness and the many changes of life. It is the story of Emmanuel God with us and it deserves our praise every year no matter the circumstance. This is my favorite part of Christmas it’s what brings us back to the innocence “of the wonders of his love. Whenever I hear the song Joy to the World, I picture a red pick-up truck with a little girl in it who just seen Jesus. She is completely innocent as she holds her Grandpap’s rough hand but feels the true meaning of Christmas.

This is a story I wrote for the christmas lighting at Gordon. It was an exciting thing to read.

don't cross your fingers

2009-12-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time almost 22 years ago, I was born on a little island off the coast of Korea. By a woman I know nothing about. Yet I know I have her long legs, loud laugh and the love that crossed continents. She's apart of me and I do not even know her. Could I live my whole life without knowing her, yes because I have the best Mother ever! However I would love to just see what I have that's hers. I love the Christmas season because it's when you see these families go pick out there Christmas tree and they all look a like in there matching Christmas colors or you see the Mothers and daughters looking alike shopping at the mall. This is the season that I hope to look most like my dear mother Linda Wilkins because she has the biggest heart that gives and gives... I just want to know who's eyes I have, how to best style my black Asian hair because she has the same hair or just where these legs come from. I would not mind knowing what my story was, she was young and not married I know that much but how did she carry me for 9 months and keep me a secret? Was her pregancy hard? How did she choose to keep me? So many questions.... hence I am seeking answers. I am looking for her. I have been on the search for over two year! Its crazy to think. However the other day I contacted the social worker I have been working with just to ask her if there was any news. She told me she was going to contact again and said "cross your fingers we get her address this time". I was really taken back by that comment. Living in the little bubble of Evangelical christian college, I become custom to words of encouragement like "praying for you" "it's in his hands" and so much more. So after getting that e-mail I took a moment and thanked God that I do not have to cross my fingers. Instead I open my palms, put my hands in the air and do a silly dance, thanking him that he has this in his control and so much more.

where I want to live just for a week.

2009-11-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

So I am facing the challenge of TRANSITIONs. Oh dear. I hate change, however everything changes all the time, we never notice it but life is always changing. I have the choice to fight this change or allow it to happen. CHOICE made play make believe haha. Just kidding, choice made allow the change and continue to TRUST God, with both my hands open and of course dreaming along the way.
Today's dream is simple. I want to live in these igloos with my family and friends. Only for a week. I hate being cold, so all we'll want to do is be cozy and warm inside them. We'll have lots of blankets and you always have to snug with someone and then... when I feel like facing my fear of the day, I'll venture outside with my loved ones and play in the snow, until I am cold where we'll go inside again and have warm drinks and tell stories and laugh.

Getting the perfect light

2009-10-27T21:13:00.001-07:00

So it was monday. The perfect autumn day rather, I like mondays at this point in my life maybe I won't forever but I do right now. Point is I love mondays, I loved this monday. It was my day, it was sunny, and bright and warm. Not Indian summer warm but warm enough to make my heart warm and the sun shined through the yellowish red trees in a way that took my heart dancing! However I was more anxious than I had ever been on this day, to the point my heart hurt, to many emotions for one day. A warm but hurting heart. Strange I know. I prayed a lot in this day. So I saw the sun, felt the warmth, had a heart that danced between anxiety and warmth or maybe was warmed by the anxiety. (haha) OK so I took some pictures and as I drove along the twisty roads of New England, I saw so many pictures I wanted to stop and take. However, I had to babysit! My plan was to take them on my way home. However, when I went to take them, sadly the sun had set and those pictures were not there. ANXIETY!!!!! SADNESS!!!!! I had to stop and be a sad little girl saying to myself how could I miss out. Then my Papa-daddy God reminded me that I will not miss out on taking the pictures, he wants because, he is the light that lights them. So please stop being anxious your getting the perfect light for the perfect picture, just let him light it for you.

Do not be anxious about anything for my peace I will guard your heart and mind (Phil 4:6-7). I love you perfectly. Do not be afraid...for that fear shows me that you are not fully convinced that I really love you (1 John 4:18) Do not allow your heart to be troubled for I have overcome the world on your behalf (John 14:27). I will keep you in perfect peace when your mind is fixed on me because you trust me (Isaiah 26:3).

What my little girl will look like

2009-10-17T17:46:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite parts of bean town living is getting to play with my little mini me! Tonight we played dress up, danced it out and read children's stories. It was a perfect night. She even told me I was beautiful :)

Air

2009-09-10T05:30:00.001-07:00

A lot travels in the air... Airplanes, helicopters, hot air balloons, space ships and my kite, it was 99 cents, it has bugs on it... and I flew it yesterday while wearing leopard print tights and a button up jumper, with a side pony tail. It flew high in air as I dreamed of watching Braveheart, buying a game system for my apartment so we can play rock band and crafting a new creation... and am twenty-one. What is in an age... nothing. I mean I do have a budget on excel because I bought a new mac a few weeks ago and am having a love affair with him... even named him George... so when I am in a latino mood I can call him JORGE! But I do have a car payment, I am a senior in College which means time to make big decisions, my friends are getting married, my uncle Matthew and aunt Julia, who are in there late twenties each will have three children by the end of 2010... However when I play in the fall winds with my kite in the middle of my college campus... and when I feel the wind as I walk down the historic streets of bean town to get to a little cafe called 939. Where I listened to songs that made my little asian eyes fill with water as they brought beauty through the air saying things like,

"But there's compassion that holds no words
It holds no words"

"White is not surrender
Despite what you've been told;
It's clouds of hope"

"For his goodness is what won me over yes my legionnaires the kindest soldier"

"And ask for the things you lack in heart
And you can begin a clean new start
Oh to be of the purest of pure in his arms" .

It's in this air that I feel free... I feel love. I feel like me.

"Adventures do occur, but not punctually."

2009-08-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

"Adventures do occur, but not punctually."
- E.M. Forster, A Passage to India, Ch. 3

I read the book A Passage to India about four years ago almost which is crazy... When I was a senior in High school and am now a senior in college, time moves so quickly. I loved that book, I remember reading it and not being able to put it down, why because it took me on an adventure to a foreign land. I went to a foreign land the other day and it was an adventure and it was not punctual nor planned and when it happened that quote read in my head along with a few other thoughts that well your going to hear about...

So I was in Albany meeting up with my dear friend Ethan. You know a typical day of laughter but there was this moment I will never forget. I was flying my new 1 dollar kite in the park, just relaxing, loving life on a hot summer day. When all the sudden I was not in Albany NY anymore. Rather I was in Afghanistan! No for those of you who know me I was not playing make believe, however I met these beautiful Afghanistan refugees! They drew my attention the first time I passed them because they were speaking some foreign tongue and wearing there beautiful long Sariis, scarfs and had beautiful dark skin. There were probably fifteen of them, more girls than boys all around the age of ten (and up). At first glance, I noticed there clothes, and how the little boys could wear jean shorts and t-shirts, while the girls were in there long sleeves and pants and scarfs. For the first time ever in my life, I loved it. I wanted to look like them. I began to be angry at myself for what I was wearing, which was a tank top and pants. I wanted there purity, yes, cultural beauty is different but how could they be so perfect? they were so beautiful, they were so covered. I love gender studies and I know that this is not equality but what is it really, a power struggle. Beauty carries so much power and those little women at age twelve carried more power than the guns that at one time held them captive.
So we asked them if we could play kick ball with them, they said yes and instantly the game turned into boys verses girls. I introduce myself to the girls shaking hands like an American but they loved it. We played... it was pure bliss, it was pure adventure. Listening to them speak in there arabic tongue, I felt like I left the United States and went to there land. I asked one of the girls how long she had been in the states, she replied 10 weeks. My heart leaped.. feeling the struggle, feeling the change, feeling the everything. I asked her what her favorite part about being here was, she said "no fighting". I couldn't help but think of all the wars that go on inside my head, or just my struggle and put it in line with hers. Time stood still as I talked with this twelve year old. I could see her finally being set free, finally finding refuge. My mind spin stopped when, I heard yelling in the background, because the boys were cheating. TYPICAL even if your foreign. So I rallied the girls and gave them some speech about living peacefully even though they are boys. The joy that these little beings had was ridiculous. The culture that they carried, I wanted it. This little encounter brought me to a far away land. It was adventure, it occurred and was not punctual.

(the pictures are not them but look like them)

World changing women.

2009-07-25T23:14:00.000-07:00

Ebersole photography
S+B just running after the acorn!

above is one of my favorite picture of us..(thanks to the boys there are many). Why this picture because we're all resting and at peace... (venture photography)

This is the night we met Sara, ovi our prayers worked haha no serious love this one wongy!

Surface image we're just girls... real self BANCHEE!

This is Wong and I, being asian...

This is above moment in our history that all should know about... Sara was being adventurous and jump over Stef all for Ebersole photography... but lost her balance and almost pulled her hair out! Good thing Stef has good Indian and Chinese hair...

So I have a lotta friends all over the world and Jesus knows I need them... but I need to tell you about my sisters in bean town... You see their new and well it's been an intense couple of months. I met my lovely Stefanie WONG probably three years ago but being from a one stop light town with the name of CHURCHVILLE... the inner city girl with a loud mouth and purple hair probably was not on my radar... nonetheless Jesus had plans this year. Stefanie being the world changer that she is... started a prayer group on campus that soon became a family and also turned into a campus wide prayer and fast... oh Jesus.... I knew.... Stef and I were gonna be deep fast, when one of our first real talks left me shaking in my boots.. She asked me "Are you going to choose boys or changing the world"? that was it... we were in this for the long hall. The best part is we're learning what real relationship looks like with the most relational being out there.... JESUS... He speaks to us though his holy spirit and a slice of Sociology to keep our woman/feminist minds thinking and some serious fun and did I say attitude?! I love a lot of things about Stef, but my favorite is she's real and reminds me to be human... We also call each other Jackie Chan (me) and Bruce Lee... she's half chinese, truly my sister. Stef is going to changes the world... by changing what's around her.... She also is going to change what it means for freedom and justice I mean she's basically the women version of Martin Luther King Junior
Sara.... the other little chicky... Sara was a total miracle meeting... We met at a JHOP prayer meeting where we saw something in each other, had a mutual friend and ZANG... She's wonderful. She is a little older than Stef and I. So she's wiser, she tells me so many things that I cannot even begin to explain but a lot of times what Sara tells me isn't by her words but by her actions. Sara is one of the most faithful people I know. I was ill at the beginning of the summer. Stuck on the couch inside for over three days. She drove forty-five minutes just to sit with me and listen to me cough my lungs out, I mean we did watch a movie! After the hour and a half of barking cough, she said "we're going" and took my sorry behind to the doctors... Yep she's awesome. I knew at that point, this was serious... haha. She teaches me though her actions because when I get all squirmy/ demanding of an answer to my verbal process. She says WAIT... I am processing and then with wisdom speaks. Sara also came to my home town, Rochester NY, where she met my entire family and all my friends. She even almost got deported, my poor brazilian. So Sara loves me, because she wanted to dis-own me when I almost sent her back to Brazil by taking her to Canada on accident but we made it, our friendship is real.
Stef, Sara and I love to think, RELAX, pray and well they put up with me. Oh did I mention they love eachother too?! We're quite a three. So the picture at the top of this blogation is to show that our relationships are like that. Where we almost pull each others hair out, say offending things to one another, almost deport one another (wait maybe that was just me) but we love one another deeply. To the point that we have to tell each other things like I was told after seeing the movie 500 days of Summer, "b, we're in this for the long hall. No matter if it takes you five hundred years we got you. We're going to see you through. We're gonna tell you when your being stttttttttupid and we're gonna love you even if you are." These are my world changers... changing my life and chasing after the ONE who changes the world around us.

The I am mine, I will not pine, seek the divine, summer 2009

2009-07-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

Well it's the middle of the summer or close to it and I must say it's been a beautiful one. I don't blog... started to once and never continued however everyday something happens and I say to myself... "b you should blog", why because I am writing to cyberspace world... where if you have the urge to actual care about this... then your in for a story!

So... I am mine, I will not pine... seek the divine. That was today. You see there is this song by one of my FAVORITEST artists, her name is Brooke Waggnoer... goes like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICDBrORCeG4... check it out.

Anyway I love the song, I love a lot of songs but this one has been played by my heart these days. Listen to those words I feel them constantly. I felt them all day...

My day began with little children this is typical of my summer. I hear them run and scream all morning, thankfully I had the morning off. (don't worry you'll probably hear more stories of the rugrats.) So my day began and the song played in my heart. One of my favorite things to do these days is take myself on dates... "I am mine"!!!!! So I first took myself out to coffee a usual ritual. Where I sat with my bible and journal. I watched beautiful people all around me. These wonderful asian girls were having tea, something to know I take a lot of note when I see people of my race, why cause well we're rare and awesome... (more on that later) Anyway coffee was good read the verse "You do not support the root, but the root supports you." Romans 11:18 and then proceeded to BIO class oh yippy... not, but like I said "I am mine". So going to community college with people, at summer school, in a state I have never lived in, makes for a lot of fun for me. You see I love people and well I had forgotten what it's like to meet new ones in an educational setting (going to the little Christan school I go to, the bubble is small). So "I am mine" by making a fool out of myself during lab, telling my 18 year old lab partner that, so much will happen to her in the next few years hahaha and then being the mature one... proceeding to laugh at myself as I play make believe being a scientist in my head. hahaha (i don't tell her that but she still asks why i laugh) Anyway after Bio I took myself out to eat. Yup wanted to go to Applebees, I like myself so... it was date time. This time me and my journal. I think the waitress throught I was so weird, nontheless I saw another elderly woman sitting by herself and could not help but think a million thoughts. Yes I want to get married hence the part in the song... I will not pine but like I said, I was thinking. I thought to myself, I am just practicing for those days, I mean I hope I go before the spouse but maybe I won't... and then I will be "I am mine..." I mean we are never our own but... ok to deep...hahaha. So tipped the waitress and proceeded to shop for a wedding shower gift. First time ever holding one of those regirstries in my hands, by myself without my lovely mother. It was so strange but so fun. I looked all around... and thought about where my life is and maybe pined.... for one minute but then realized... this part of the song
"I am behind
I am behind
And nevermind"
So this is where the seek the divine part comes in. (my own little add to the song) Ok so walking through the mall, now with a friend but I feel some one behind us, as we come out of pottery barn. We go into the Gap, just trying on clothes and then my friend decides to stay in the store while I go to the next store. Leaving my dear friend and feeling the presents of a someone again but heading back to the pottery barn... about to enter and this woman comes up to me. She tells me I have a wonderful "ora" about me and says all this other stuff about my presents that I carry, she wants to do a reading for me and that she never does this. I freak and say no thanks... and saying bless you and she says from "your god to mine". I was freaked. In pottery barn with all the other middle class women, stressing over what new candle holder to buy and she was STILL outside. I felt peace, I carry Jesus, so I win. Went out and started to talk to her... you know the normal throwing around words like holy spirit, Jesus, the bible, ect. We were agreeing but man her spiritual trip was making her all wacky and she prosisted she wanted to read for me (read meaning tarro cards). Reminded of my morning coffee verse "the root supports me".. So I grabbed her arm, prayed for her and when I was done. She goes "You have something I don't", I say yes it's Jesus and ask if she wants to talk about it and she says no and walks away. Well that's is my divine, he is loving, strong and always wins. He totally supported me and I got to be his wing woman in todays new age encounter in front of Pottery Barn. If only the other candle buyers knew...

Honesty, I get scared... I mean even afterward I was still shaking for a good hour... What is it with this New Age stuff. It's like operation teach B-lin about New Age, but I say yes. I say yes to living my life in seeking the divine during the nevermind and beyond even when I am a wrinkly old Asian woman who takes herself out to dinner. Because there is never need to pine for Jesus because he's right here with me.

Watching him grow

2009-01-27T18:27:00.001-08:00

Baby Victor Summer 2007

Victory in April of this year!

Life.. it moves so quickly… looking at these eyes today my heart was filled with so much emotion, thought and well figured…. He is the perfect first blog. The story is simpe rather, his name is Victor. He lives in Mozambique, Africa… where he has a hundred other brothers and sisters. He’s an orphan. Nonetheless, this little boy changed my life in one summer. He stole my heart. I ventured to Africa in 2007, and met him the very first night, I was there. I know he knew I needed him. I would awake and jump out of bed to see him. I would sing him to sleep. Yes I had other things going on during my day but I would place him in a capulana (an African piece of clothe that turned into a baby carrier.)and carry him on my skinny Asian body. It was quite a show… the Africans have there nice curvy hips to keep those little guys up.. haha. Victor trusted me though and changed my life by doing so. I saw in his eyes, myself, I saw I was once an orphan literally and spiritually. So much of the western culture has vainly thought of this population as cute, a nice group of children that you can go visit. It wasn’t like that for us. You see little Victor showed me, how someone else took care of me, how it was so easy for my parents to fall in love with me and he shoed me the father’s heart. You see God… Jesus what have you.. Loves us like that. He adopts us into the kingdom of heaven. We are his sons and daughters. I was only lost before I met the father. Victor or Victory as I like to call him… lives VICTORIOUSLY!!!!!! As he grows, I grow and pray for him daily… and watch him grow via facebook!!! He has teeth, talks, laughs and probably has a three year old attitude!